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FANFARE PLAYS

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STRAINED BUGLE

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This programme contains
strong language

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May I present to you
the one, the only,

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Stewart Park!

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Aw! Aw!

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You're looking fucking lush there,
<font color="

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Nice arse.

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He's all suited and booted
for his first-ever date!

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How are you feeling about it,
Stewart?

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I'm really nervous.

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Aw, just be yourself, hon,
<font color="

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Got any pictures of the lad, Stew?

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No, my workmate set me up,

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so it's kind of like a blind date.

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But what if he's dog ugly?

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Oh, yeah, good point.

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Oh, I don't think I'd really mind,
you know.

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<font color="

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Well, er, you'll all be pleased
to know that I've also got

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a date tonight. Oh! Ooh.

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Oh, how exciting, chick.

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Who is the lucky bastard?

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Well, I haven't met him yet
<font color="

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Yeah, I've joined this dating app.

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It's for older rich men
who are looking to meet young,

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smooth twinks like me.

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And there's a wealthy daddy
who likes the look of my photos

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and wants to treat me for dinner.

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<font color="

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Rich little OAP for you.

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Have you got any pictures?

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I do, actually, Lucinda.

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Thank you for asking.

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Here we go.

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What's that?

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It's a photocopy of his bank
<font color="

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Yeah, the older rich men
receive photos of the twinks,

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and us twinks receive photographic
evidence of their wealth.

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Oh, that's fascinating.
Jesus fucking wept.

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What's that smell? Oh, yeah.

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Ooh.

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<font color="

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I... I got it from Argos.

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You got a fragrance from Argos?

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What does it remind me of?
I can't put my finger on it.

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It's like... You know, it's like...

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Um... Oh. It's... It's...

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Oh, that's it.
<font color="

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That's it. Mmm.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

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Here, let's spray a bit of this
to mask it.

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HE COUGHS

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Is that air-freshener?
It is, chick.

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Ah, smells like a fresh
<font color="

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I actually think I'm going to
cancel tonight.

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Oh, you can't do that.
What if he's the love of your life?

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I just... I don't think
I'm quite ready to date.

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Tell you what, I'll come to the
restaurant as a secret chaperone.

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<font color="

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but I'm distant enough for you to
still enjoy your date.

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I guess that could work.

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Yay! And we'll come along as secret
chaperones as well!

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One...

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Well... You don't all have to come.
Oh, don't be silly.

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<font color="

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THEY HOWL

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Ow! Mam, my eyes! Ow.
Ee, sorry, chick.

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Imma be a supermodel...

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ITALIAN ACCENT: Oh! Hi beautiful!

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Welcome, friend,
<font color="

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Yeah. How did you know?

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We've been expecting you
for your first big date.

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Follow me.

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Ah! Sexy little gay boy.

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And this is your date
for the evening.

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Hiya. Oh, I'm Stewart.
I'm Bradley.

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<font color="
a-blossoming.

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Here, Linda.
Someone's blocked the women's loo.

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DROPS ITALIAN ACCENT: You are
fucking kidding me.

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That's the second fucking
time this week.

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What the bloody hell
<font color="

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Enjoy your meal.

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I've never done the whole
dating thing before.

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Sorry if I seem a bit nervous.

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Don't worry.
I get nervous all the time.

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Can I get yous a drink, lads?

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Ooh?

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Want wine?

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<font color="

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There... Wi-Wine.

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Yeah, white? Wh-White?
White? Yeah.

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White's fine.

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Right. Where's our Stew, then?

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It's posh in 'ere, like, innit?
Oh, this is really...

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Shh! Remember, we've got
<font color="

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WHISPERS: There he is!
Just tap. Tap water's fine, yeah.

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SHE MOUTHS

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Thank you.

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Good morning.

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Sit.

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A menu for you. Yes.

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'Ere, Mam.

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<font color="
out to all the tables.

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Tell them they're complimentary.
I accidentally ordered too much

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and now I can't get
rid of the bastard stuff.

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Of course, chick.

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I really appreciate you letting me
do this, Linda.

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<font color="
Bit nervous, poor love.

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Oh, absolutely nay fucking
problem, Mom.

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Tell you the truth,
you're doing me a favour.

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I've had three people call in sick.
Fucking skivers.

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<font color="

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I'm glad I could help.
Oh, actually, whilst I've got you,

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women's bog needs unblocking,
if you wouldn't mind sorting it out.

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Of course, chick.

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Ah, welcome! Welcome, friends!

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Come in, come in. You have a table
<font color="

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No. We were hoping
we could just squeeze in?

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DROPS ITALIAN ACCENT: Got fuck all
tonight, love. Try TGI Friday's.

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Who wants a free-a cola-slaw?

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Oh.

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It's a big old menu, isn't it?

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They say it's Italian
<font color="

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Last time I was here I had a chicken
chow mein in arrabbiata sauce.

125
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Oh. Do you fancy sharing
spaghetti bolognese starter?

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Well, when in Rome...

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You smell amazing.

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It's like, I don't know,
<font color="

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Oh, thanks very much.

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We can't let on
that we know Stewart,

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cos we don't want to embarrass him.

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So let's be as incognito as possible
when we're spying.

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Got you. Understood.

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<font color="

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I can't really
hear from this far away.

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Shall we shuffle closer?
I think we're going to have to.

137
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Soz I'm late. I went to the park
and got stuck in a swing.

138
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What the fuck are yous doing?

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<font color="
eavesdrop on Stewart and his date.

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Fucking hell.

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Ohh...

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Would anyone like to try the wine?

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Ooh, yeah.
Ah, yeah, go on, then.

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I like wine, too.

145
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Aye, that's not bad, that.

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<font color="

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Oh, good choice.

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No paps! No paps!

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I'm just trying to live my life!

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Bastards.

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Hiya, Dickie, chick. Hiya, Mam.

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Sorry, Dickie, did you want us
to follow you in as well?

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<font color="

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I told you, you're not meant to
speak to me!

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What's this all about, chick?

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Is he here? Who?
My mature affluent date.

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Oh, no, he hasn't arrived yet.

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Oh, for God's sake.

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<font color="
that I'm also rich as fuck,

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so he wouldn't have to
worry about making me sign a prenup.

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I have to say,
you look like a proper rich bitch.

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Haway, I'll show you to your table.

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Dickie's here. Hiya, love.
<font color="

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Sorry, I haven't got any change
on me.

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Ooh! 'Ere, eh, Dickie, I've been
thinking.

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How do you know which rich old
codger you're meeting

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if you've never seen him before?

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<font color="
for a silver fox

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wearing a yellow handkerchief
in his jacket pocket.

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Ooh, exciting! Yeah!

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Ee, you know, back in my day,
wearing a yellow handkerchief

172
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used to signify that you
were into piss play.

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<font color="

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'Ere, Mam. What are you doing?
Table seven needs their starters.

175
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I'm, er... I'm on my break, Linda.

176
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You've only just started your shift.

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Mmm.

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for you...

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00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,400
<font color="

181
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So, what star sign are you?

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Sagittarius.

183
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,960
You're joking, aren't you?

184
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,720
No. Why? I'm totally incompatible
with Sagittarius.

185
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Oh.

186
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Sorry about that.

187
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I wouldn't normally even associate
<font color="

188
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,360
if I'm being totally honest.
Right.

189
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,840
I'm not really sure what
to say to that.

190
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I'm a Taurus, you see,
so I'm, like, proper grounded

191
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,440
and down to earth,
and you're like...

192
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,840
<font color="
I don't know.

193
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,720
I'd say I'm quite grounded.

194
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,520
Sagittarius would say that.

195
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,000
Right.

196
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,600
I'm just popping to the loo.

197
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,840
I could be a while,
cos I like to do a sit-down wee,

198
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,400
which means that sometimes
<font color="

199
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,440
How's it going, hon?

200
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,280
I'm not sure he's into me.

201
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,840
How can he not be?

202
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,120
You're probably just nervous
and not being yourself.

203
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,520
The key is to just be
completely authentic.

204
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:45,320
And whatever you do,
<font color="

205
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,240
There you go.

206
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,880
That'll do on the coleslaw, Mam. Mm!

207
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,240
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

208
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,240
Ooh, what's that?

209
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,360
More coleslaw.

210
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,440
Boop!

211
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,440
Hiya, chick. Oh, hello, dear.

212
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,240
<font color="

213
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,880
I believe I'm meeting a young
handsome chap.

214
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,120
Oh, you must be Dickie's date.

215
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,360
You are in for a treat.

216
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,000
Follow me.

217
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,240
Dessert's next.

218
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,920
Ahem, Dickie, I believe your date
has arrived.

219
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,560
<font color="

220
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,080
No, this can't be right.

221
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,600
Well... What's the matter?

222
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,040
I'm meeting this person.

223
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,240
Er, yeah, that's me.

224
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,040
No, this can't be you.

225
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:53,120
The chap in the photo has got
a soft, youthful complexion, um...

226
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:55,960
<font color="

227
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,880
And he's got a firm, athletic body

228
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,600
with an arse that won't quit.

229
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,240
Is, hello?

230
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,200
No offence, but your arse
looks like it quit a long time ago.

231
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,600
How can I not take offence at that,
you cheeky old twat?

232
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,680
<font color="
Pancakes R Us?

233
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,120
That's not even a real shop.

234
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,560
You know, you really shouldn't
lie on your dating profile.

235
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,880
Goodbye.

236
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,600
You couldn't lend us a tenner
for a taxi, could you?

237
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,040
Piss off!

238
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,600
<font color="
you nosy bitch!

239
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,440
PEOPLE GASP

240
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,120
Here's some coleslaw.

241
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,200
Oh, I bloody love a parmo, me.

242
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,000
Love in parmo.

243
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:48,200
Oh, ha! Sorry, Danni, that's
actually my bowl of ketchup.

244
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,320
You've got your own one.
<font color="

245
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,480
Eh, isn't that your pal Mel, Sal?

246
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,960
Er, I can't really
tell from over here.

247
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,800
I'm sure it is. I'll just check.

248
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,720
Mail! MAIL!

249
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,560
I'm sure she's probably busy...
MEL!

250
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,200
Hey, guys.

251
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,880
<font color="
You look nice.

252
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,480
What's the occasion?
I'm actually just here on a date.

253
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,560
'Ere, there's a lot of dates
going on tonight.

254
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,400
We're having a double date, Dickie's
having a date, and Stewart's

255
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,880
<font color="
pretending we don't know him.

256
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,040
Ah, gotcha. Babe? Oh...

257
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,320
Hi. Guys, this is Arabella.

258
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,680
Hi, Arabella. She's up from London,
she's filming some TikTok videos.

259
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,680
<font color="

260
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,680
I don't know if any of you guys
follow me, but basically

261
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,320
I go to really shit towns

262
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,240
and just rip the absolute piss
out of them.

263
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,240
But people fucking love it.

264
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,040
Anyway, Mel, babe,
<font color="

265
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,960
They don't have any fucking tables.

266
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,080
Why don't you join us?
Say what now?

267
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,760
Hang on. Where the frig are
they going to sit?

268
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,640
Well, we can all squeeze in.

269
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,560
Don't worry about us.
We'll just try TGI's.

270
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,240
<font color="

271
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,640
I can never go to that place
again after last time,

272
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,440
when I ordered plant-based chicken
and they brought out

273
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,960
a chicken drumstick on top
of a pot plant.

274
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,840
So, thank you for your kind offer,
new friends.

275
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,280
<font color="

276
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,600
SHE GIGGLES

277
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,040
Can we get some fucking chairs,
please?

278
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,320
I don't understand.

279
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,120
I always get told my bum looks like
it's been under a steam roller,

280
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,160
and I just assumed that was
a compliment.

281
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,360
<font color="
wrong

282
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,400
with your ridiculously flat jacksy.

283
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,080
Some people love an arse
so flat it's nearly inverted.

284
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,640
If I can't even get
a dirty old gadgie like that to

285
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,800
go on a date with me, what hope have
<font color="

286
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,240
Mmm, those were the days...

287
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,400
Mam, table six have been waiting on
their katsu curry for half an hour.

288
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,320
I won't tell ya again.

289
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,720
I'm about ready to go.

290
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,920
Meet you down the alley
across the road in five minutes.

291
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,960
Ah!

292
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,040
<font color="

293
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,960
Excuse me, babes. Is this
the only exit?

294
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,160
Aye, it is.

295
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,480
Well, apart from the fire exit
in the kitchen.

296
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,720
Oi, are you the new sous-chef?
You're late, dickhead.

297
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,400
<font color="

298
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,320
Sorry I'm late, Chef.

299
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,080
Where do you want me?

300
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,200
How do, Stew? Fucking hell.

301
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,200
How's it going?
He's been gone for ages, Sal.

302
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,480
Think he might have done a runner.

303
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,000
Surely not, babe.

304
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,560
<font color="
that you're a Sagittarius.

305
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,440
Oh. I didn't realise you'd
still be here.

306
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,920
'Ere, Mam, there's a dead rat
stuck in one of the traps.

307
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,880
Be a love and chuck it
in the wheelie bin, will ya?

308
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,320
I'm a bit busy at the minute, Linda.
<font color="

309
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,880
I'm on violin duty. Hmm.

310
00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:00,240
Hot Chef? Hot Chef, table one are
still waiting for their starters.

311
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,040
Here you go, Mam. Ah!

312
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,320
BEEPING

313
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,320
Oh, shitting hell.

314
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,400
Flipping hell. Bloody, pissing
<font color="

315
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,960
Oh.

316
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,960
Think I burnt these cauliflowers.

317
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,120
Are you a fucking moron?
Soz about that, babes.

318
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,640
Oh, hang on a minute.
Where's that gone, then?

319
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,640
Think my blister must have fallen
off into one of those starters.

320
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,560
<font color="

321
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,240
Argh! Fuck me!

322
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,280
Linda is pissing me right off.

323
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,240
Tell me about it. Just because
Helen and Darren

324
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,560
and Sophie called in sick,
cos they went out last night

325
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,160
and got hammered, doesn't mean
<font color="

326
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,200
Mam!

327
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,280
Don't you guys just miss London
when you're up here?

328
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,600
I mean, I know it's pure
fucking chaos,

329
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,640
but my God, there's just an energy
down there

330
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,480
that you just don't get anywhere
<font color="

331
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,320
I've actually never been to London.

332
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,160
SHE LAUGHS

333
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,560
Are you...? Are you being serious?
What the actual fuck?!

334
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,360
I... I don't... I don't think
I've ever met anybody

335
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,040
who hasn't been to London.

336
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,000
Wow! God, mind blown.

337
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,360
<font color="
You go, girl.

338
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,320
Like, gosh. I mean...

339
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,600
Um, you've never been up the Shard?

340
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,560
I've been up Roseberry Topping.

341
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,080
Listen, Danni, you really can't
just go round stealing

342
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,080
other people's ketchup.

343
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,480
<font color="
able to eat their food.

344
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,360
Are you going to let your dickhead
friends talk to me like that, Sal?

345
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:00,040
Er, who are you calling dickhead?
Who do you think?

346
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,600
Danni, babe, please don't talk
to people like that.

347
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,720
<font color="
how the fuck I want.

348
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,520
Whose side are you on?

349
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,040
Wow. I mean, I knew it was
rough up here

350
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:13,080
but I never expected to witness such
horrific aggression first hand.

351
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,560
Arabella, babe. Yeah?

352
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,760
<font color="
best to keep your mouth shut.

353
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,640
Why? Will they attack me?

354
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,240
Like and subscribe...

355
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,680
..if I survive.

356
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,800
One potato, two potatoes,
three potatoes, four and five...

357
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:32,960
No.

358
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,560
So, Chef, how long have you been
<font color="

359
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,200
We haven't got time
for small talk, mate.

360
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,640
Peel them potatoes.
A please wouldn't go amiss.

361
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,560
Can you just hurry the fuck up,
please?

362
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:48,880
We've got tables waiting.

363
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,560
Fucking hell, Gordon Ramsay.
<font color="

364
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,040
They can wait a bit longer,
can't they?

365
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,680
Don't speak to me
like that in my kitchen.

366
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,000
How is it your kitchen?
You don't own it.

367
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,160
And I'm sorry,
I don't peel potatoes,

368
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,600
<font color="
inflames my psoriasis.

369
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,200
Listen here,
you little flat-arsed weasel,

370
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,320
if you want to keep this fucking
job, you do as I say.

371
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,880
Do I make myself clear?

372
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,800
Take a chill pill, Cruella de Vil.

373
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,640
<font color="
shithead. Cry about it.

374
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,720
You cry about it.
You cry about it.

375
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,440
No, you cry about it.
You cry about it.

376
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,760
You cry about it. You cry about it.
You cry about it!

377
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,080
<font color="

378
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,960
Nobody's ever spoken to me
like this.

379
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,280
Cry about it.

380
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,760
Oh, so here's a funny one...

381
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,000
PHONE RINGS
Sorry, I've got to take this.

382
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,800
Hiya. Did you get my text?

383
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,280
Yeah, a fucking Sagittarius.

384
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,920
<font color="

385
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,040
Fucking joke, babes.

386
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,040
CUTLERY CLATTERS

387
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,280
Yeah. And I think he's wearing
air-freshener.

388
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,760
Why are we still waiting
on table eleven's desserts?

389
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,080
Oh, for God's sake! Not again, Chef!

390
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,080
Er, what does she mean, again?

391
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,920
<font color="
other sous-chefs?

392
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,760
No. Huh!

393
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,000
Not today, anyway!

394
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,480
I can't believe I'm hearing this.

395
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,320
Me and you, we're done.

396
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,560
Here you go, babes.

397
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,880
These are table eleven's.

398
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,880
Who the fuck are you?

399
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,720
<font color="

400
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,840
Well, I'm only here one more day,
thank fuck,

401
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,440
but annoyingly I'm back in
a couple of weeks.

402
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,800
That is the problem with
getting a hit TikTok account

403
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,240
from trashing shit towns.

404
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,320
You actually have to
<font color="

405
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,160
CONVERSATION FADES

406
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,280
Yeah, I know. The nerve of it.

407
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,320
Honestly, so blase! Sagittarius.

408
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,400
He's still here.

409
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,080
Mam, table five needs clearing.

410
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,880
Oh, we've got a fucking good
connection, haven't we, babe?

411
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,320
<font color="

412
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,880
How many? Sorry?

413
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,160
How many more sous-chefs are there?

414
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,800
What does it matter?
It's in the past now.

415
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,640
I just need to know.

416
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,400
Well, I was sat playing Tetris
on the bog for a good ten minutes.

417
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,600
<font color="
You know me, babe.

418
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,880
Can't be doing with
Sagittari-arseholes.

419
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,320
MUFFLED SPEECH

420
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,680
..I swear there must be a bin juice
distillery in Middlesbrough

421
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,000
because the whole town reeks of it.

422
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,960
ARABELLA LAUGHS

423
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:23,400
<font color="

424
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,600
I'm warning you.

425
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,320
Argh!

426
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,760
What the fuck are you doing?

427
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,560
Don't mess with my ketchup, bitch!

428
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,360
Oh!

429
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,920
Screw you, Linda.

430
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,160
SHE SCREAMS

431
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,800
No, I can't hear you. OK.

432
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,160
<font color="

433
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,000
Sorry about that.

434
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,160
Wrong number.

435
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,600
Fucking Sagittarius!

436
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,680
SCREAMING

437
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,160
Stop!

438
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,520
What the hell are yous all doing?

439
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,880
This is embarrassing.

440
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,320
Not one of you has hit Stewart.

441
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,880
Fucking hell, Stewart!

442
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,240
<font color="
the one,

443
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,720
I'm glad I've broken
my date virginity.

444
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,000
How'd you find working
as a sous chef, hon?

445
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,960
Summat to put on the CV,
isn't it, babes?

446
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,640
Best thing was
I got a snog off the chef.

447
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,920
<font color="
I did!

448
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,160
I believe you. You don't sound like
you believe me, Lucinda,

449
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,400
with that patronising tone of yours.

450
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,760
Listen, I'd just like to
say sorry that

451
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,720
I let my anger get the better
<font color="

452
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,080
I just ...
I really bloody love ketchup.

453
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,640
Don't apologise, babe.

454
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,240
It's not your fault.

455
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,640
Danni gets pleasure
out of antagonising.

456
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,080
That's just who she is.

457
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,640
And if I'm honest, I'm done with it.

458
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,280
<font color="
Yeah, go on, Mam.

459
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,440
Let us have it, Mam, go on.
Teach me a lesson.

460
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,040
Just do it, just do it. Rinse me.

461
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,160
Oh, feel the wetness!

462
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:24,520
It's moist.

463
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,760
Say hello to Richard and Judy!

464
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,040
<font color="

465
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,000


466
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,640


467
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,880


468
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,000


469
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,280


470
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:46,320


471
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,800

fumine

472
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,320
<font color="

473
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,120

of the city, of the city!